Useless
by pellyeve93
Summary: A sort of alternative ending to episode 7. /Ryumako/


'_You're useless,_' Mako told herself, '_Pathetic. Weak. __**Useless.**_'

A small tear came to her eye, blurring her vision, but she quickly wiped it away and prayed that Ryuko hadn't noticed.

Looking up, Mako realised that Ryuko was too engrossed in tending to Mako's wounds to notice anything. She was being so _careful_, so gentle, treating Mako like a precious glass doll.

It wasn't fair.

_She _should be the one taking care of _Ryuko's_ injuries.

Mako looked at the small cuts and bruises all over her arms and legs that she'd gotten during the fight between her and Ryuko. All accidentally self-inflicted.

Then she looked at Ryuko's wounds. Her swollen black eye, her bloodied lips, the huge gashes and painfully dark bruises that covered almost every visible part of her pale body.

None of them were self-inflicted.

_Mako _was the one who caused each and every one of them.

And she hated herself for that.

She hated herself for failing her family, for hurting her best friend, for being so weak, for being such an idiot, for never doing anything right.

For being so _useless._

If only she'd noticed what was happening to her family, maybe she would have been able to prevent all this from happening. They would have just stayed in the slums and her and Ryuko would have never had to fight each other. Everything would have been just fine.

Sure, Ryuko had forgiven her, her family apologised, but that didn't stop Mako from lashing out at everyone on their way home. It didn't stop her from getting angry enough to scream that she never wanted to see any one of them ever again.

Yet here she was, sitting on the floor of her old house with Ryuko being unbelievably kind to her, just like she always was. And that'ss why Mako felt so useless. Because she could never fight herself. It was always Ryuko that needed to come and help her, she always had to go and sacrifice her own safety for Mako's.

'_Maybe if you weren't so weak Ryuko wouldn't have gotten hurt,_' the voice in her head taunted. '_Maybe if you ju-_'

A sudden sharp pain in her arm pulled Mako from her negative thoughts and pushed her back into reality. The pain was almost unbearable and made her whimper and gasp in shock.

"Sorry, Mako," Ryuko said, loosening her grip on Mako's arm and looking at her worriedly, "I think your wrist is broken."

"O-oh..."

She began wrapping a bandage tightly around Mako's wrist, "We'll have to get your dad to look at that, but it's not too badly broken." Ryuko paused and carefully inspected Mako's hand for a moment. "Looks like your thumb's busted too."

Mako cocked her head to the side and stared at her friend in confusion. "Huh? I don't remember hurting it. My hand didn't even get hit once..."

"When you're swinging a punch you gotta make sure your thumb is on the outside of your fist, going across your fingers like this," Ryuko explained, demonstrating with her own hand, "Nad your wrist needs to be straight too. That's probably how you broke them. The adrenaline is what kept you going. But it doesn't hurt too much, right?"

Mako shook her quickly, even though the pain was unlike anything she'd ever experienced and made her just want to cry. But if she cried, that would be so utterly selfish, wouldn't it? Because she was sitting right in front of someone who was probably hurting a lot more than she was, yet they hadn't complained once. Who was she to start snivelling over a stupid little broken wrist and a few scratches?

"Does anywhere else hurt?" Ryuko asked as she gently straightened out Mako's thumb and wrapped a bandage around it to keep it in place.

Mako shook her dejectedly.

Everywhere hurt. But she didn't want to say anything because then Ryuko would give her more of the attention she didn't deserve. The longer she stared at her, the more intensely painful Ryuko's wounds started to look and the guiltier Mako felt.

Those were the wounds _she _caused.

She beat up her best friend.

She nearly _killed _her best friend.

She almost beat her only friend in this messed up world to _death_.

"W-Why?" Mako accidentally whispered aloud, though she didn't realise it, "Why didn't they stop me?"

Ryuko finished wrapping up Mako's hand and looked up at her, "You okay? Did I hurt you?"

"Why? Why didn't they..." Mako's gaze drifted and met Ryuko's, "Why didn't... didn't _you_?! Why didn't you fight back and stop me?!"

She couldn't remember what came over her, but something snapped inside of her and she made a sudden grab at Ryuko, gripping the collar of her shirt and pulling her up so that they were face to face.

"Why didn't you stop me?! I nearly killed you! Why didn't you just fight back and stop me?!" Mako yelled, letting go of her and instead feebly banging her fists against Ryuko's chest as she sobbed.

"Hey calm down Mako!"

"N-No! You could have just hi-"

A sickening crack in Mako's wrist cut her off. In the heat of the moment she seemed to have forgotten about her injured wrist and now... The injury seemed worse than before. The ache was agonising, making her feel like she was about to pass out.

Without a word, she fell limp and collapsed onto Ryuko's chest, sobbing, using her good arm to just barely keep herself up.

Ryuko stared down at her in shock, not sure of what to say. That was the second time that she had seen Mako get so emotional today and it made her feel a strange kind of immense guilt.

"I'm such an awful person, Ryuko," she half-whispered, "I'm a horrible a daughter. A horrible friend. No wonder everyone always hated me... I-I've been trying so hard to stay strong for everyone but look at me! I'm just so pathetic and useless!"

There was complete silence for a few minutes. Ryuko was too stunned to say anything. Mako was always so cheerful and optimistic, as if she had absolutely nothing to worry about but now... Now Ryuko was seeing a whole different person.

But she could understand why.

Maybe being happy was just easier.

Mako lived in such... such a corrupted world. A cruel world where being "weak" was looked down upon.

Maybe by forcing such extreme happiness she was somehow able to block out the corruption and make herself feel stronger.

Maybe by pretending she was always over the moon with joy even when she wasn't made life easier for those around her too. Maybe she felt like she had to always be happy just to make others feel happy too...

Maybe she'd fooled herself into thinking that she didn't need to cry so that she could keep the happiness she created.

Or maybe she just thought that she wasn't _allowed _to cry, because that would ruin everyone else's joy.

And that made Ryuko want to cry.

She looked down at Mako and was hit with a sudden realisation.

Mako needed Ryuko just as much as Ryuko needed Mako.

Ryuko needed Mako to encourage her and cheer her on, to be the light at the end of the dark tunnel.

Mako needed Ryuko to tell her that is was okay to cry and that she didn't always have to please everyone.

"Mako, don't you dare call yourself useless ever again,"Ryuko said gently but firmly, "You're not useless _or _pathetic. You're one of the most use_ful _and strong people I know, okay?"

Mako nodded, sniffling.

"Not everyone hates you either. Your family loves you. _I _love you. So don't you ever think otherwise, alright?"

"Okay," said Mako, as she looked up and smiled, "Normally I'd be the one saying something like that, wouldn't I?"

"Hah, yeah..."

The two then hugged, and stayed in each other's embrace for quite some time, not saying anything.

"Hey, Ryuko-chan... You forgive me for fighting with you earlier, right?" Mako asked, breaking the silence.

"Of course I do, stupid... That was one of the easier fights I've been in since I got here," Ryuko smiled and patted Mako's head, "It's not your fault anyways. It's that bitch Kiryuin's fault. Don't blame yourself, 'kay?"

Mako nodded and then she looked at Ryuko. She stared at her for a little longer than you'd normally stare at someone.

"... I love you, Ryuko-chan~!"

And before Ryuko could reply, her and Mako were kissing.

It was by no means a perfect kiss, mostly due to Mako's lack of experience and the fact that she could only hold onto Ryuko with one arm, but it was very cute and sweet nonetheless. She tried to pull away, but Ryuko quickly put her arm around her waist and pulled her in closer, making the kiss last just that tiny bit longer.

Once they had both pulled away, they couldn't help but giggle at the obvious awkwardness of the situation.

"Does make me Ryuko-chan's girlfriend?" Mako pondered aloud, her big brown eyes sparkling. She had thankfully returned to her usual cheery self, seemingly ignoring the fact that her wrist was in dire need of medical attention.

"I... guess it does," Ryuko said, leaning back and scratching the back of her neck sheepishly. "Hey, shouldn't we be- _Annnd_ she already asleep..."

Ryuko stared at Mako in disbelief, shaking her head. There was no way a normal human being should be able to just fall asleep any time, anywhere. She fixed Mako's wrist into a comfortable position and ruffled her short, brunette hair.

"Heh... I guess I'll just have to hunt down your parents by myself then."

* * *

Word count minus author's note: 1,638

(A/N:) this is what happens when you accidentally take too many headache pills and decided to try and write a thing gosh. This is also one of those "this was supposed to be a drabble" fics. I hate it and wish I could rewrite it but I don't want to add anything else to my 'needs rewriting' pile sooooo, I guess this will just have to do. I'm a firm believer that characters like Mako can often be quite sad on the inside, it's just a sorta headcanon of mine, so I really wanted write something like this for ryumako. Hope you all enjoyed!


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